Wednesday, July 25, 2007


I got this from a friend, it is a great read...or at least I think so!

>>We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that
>>she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a
>>survey," she says half-joking.. "Do you think I should have a baby?""
>> >
>> >It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I
>> >know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more
>>spontaneous vacations.
>> >
>> >"But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to
>> >decide what to tell her.
>> >
>> >I want her to know what she will never learn in child birth
>>classes. I
>> >want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal,
>> >but
>> >becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she
>>will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never
>>again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?"
>> >That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she
>>sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be
>>worse than watching your child die.
>> >
>> >I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that
>>no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to
>>the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of
>>"Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a
>>moments hesitation. I
>>feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested
>>in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She
>>might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an
>>important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell.
>>She will have to use every ounce discipline to keep from running home,
>>just to make sure her baby is all right.
>> >
>> >I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be
>>routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather
>>than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right
>>there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of
>>independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that
>>a child molester may be lurking in that
>>restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess
>>herself constantly as a mother.
>> >
>> >Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually
>>she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same
>>about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to
>>her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to
>>save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to
>>accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I
>>want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become
>>badges of honour.
>> >
>> >My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, and not in the
>>way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much
>>more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never
>>hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will
>>fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very
>>unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with
>>women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk
>>driving. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your
>>child learn to ride a bike.
>> >
>> >I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the
>>soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy
>>that is so real it actually hurts. My daughter's quizzical look makes me
>>realize that tears have formed in my eyes.
>> >
>> >"You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I
>>reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent
>>prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble
>>their way into this most wonderful of callings.
>> >
>> >Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends
>> >who
>>may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in
>>your heart.